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One time I had to broadcast a three-game series between UCLA and Oral Roberts in baseball. I made it through three full games, over 9 hours of extemporaneous conversation, without giggling.

Oral. Roberts.

Also: Buzzer beaters totally rule. I will not argue about this.

Theory: Tom’s Uggs were riding a little tight.

Albert Pujols, the most irresistible force in offensive baseball, is signing up to play for the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

In Southern California, they are elated.

In the heartland, they are rationalizing.

In Arlington, they’re going to have to work a lot harder to keep that AL West division title. Especially with C.J. Wilson joining the Halos, oh by the way.

One more thing: We know Albert already looks good in red.

Two of my favorite institutions, Bill Cosby and Tim Tebow. Now, one backs the other. Loves it, as Paris Hilton would say.

Shaquille O’Neal was – to most knowledgeable eyes – the most dominating basketball player since the Wilt Chamberlain/Bill Russell era. Nevertheless, he won only one MVP award. And, despite his four championship rings and his hall-of-fame career, Shaq never could shake the perception that he might have been an even greater player, had he approached the game with a ninja-killer-zeal like Michael Jordon.

Fortunately for the rest of us, the haters can now suck on this:

No, they did not both surrender once the brawl began. Get your cheap shots out of here.

More importantly, is there anything more amusing than a morally disappointed French sportscaster?

Le outrage! Le scandal! All uproarious things should be in French. Let’s get to work on it. We’d solve the energy crisis, global warming, and terrorism if we could only switch to French when discussing and/or arguing these subjects.

Here’s a touchdown highlight with the call from ESPN Deportes. For all you gringos, ‘deportes’ is the Spanish word for ‘sports’.

Even though the Giants looked exceedingly JV last night, I still think they can beat the 49ers in the playoffs. And certainly New Orleans will boat race San Francisco in a playoff matchup. Alex Smith cannot and will not put 40 or more points up in a playoff game, which is what it will take to beat New Orleans.

Just so we’re clear.

Urban Meyer is a complex man.

After experiencing acute chest pains that he feared could lead to lethal heart trouble, he quit his head coaching job at Florida in 2009. Then, he re-hired himself.

Then he quit again again, and left Florida. This time it wasn’t his heart, it was his desire to spend more time with his family.

Family, I hope you enjoyed your year. The man named after a pope is back in the saddle, baby. He’s Ohio State’s new 6-million-dollar man.

And one more thing. OSU is Oregon State. Not Ohio State, not Oklahoma State. I will not argue this.

You know how the NBA is cannibalizing itself right now, and how that totally sucks? Especially if you’re not psychotically clamped to the NFL teat?

Good news. Major League Baseball won’t be doing that for at least another five years. Say what you will about Bud, but the lessons learned from the 1994-95 strike have not been forgotten. Credit to both sides. Play ball.