This is the nine weirdest seconds on the Internet. Teen-aged international pop superstar Justin Beiber crossing over future hall-of-famer Steve Nash, scoring on him, with international pop superstar girlfriend Selena Gomez cheering him on. Ladies and gentlemen, the media age is a strange place.

Mardy Fish, the highest-ranked remaining American in the U.S. Open, can be heard – maybe? - to call the umpire of his match a “dumbass.”

Stay classy, Mardy.

In case you were living under a rock, or perhaps sailing to a desert island over the weekend, you may have missed this. Tennis uber-stud Rafael Nadal suffered an apparently extreme lower body cramp while speaking to reporters after winning a match at the U.S. Open.

For those of you who have suffered even the most mild of cramps, it sucks. It really sucks. Have you ever had a hamstring or calf cramp up on you? It truly feels like the end of the world. To suffer one of these before all the microphones and camera lenses of the world is rather poor timing…at least for those of us who treasure fleeting moments of dignity.

Colts quarterback Peyton Manning is now doubtful for Indianapolis’ opening game against the Texans. Knowledgeable people – like former Indianapolis head coach Tony Dungy – are now doubting the Colts chances to make the playoffs if Manning’s recovery stretches beyond week one.

And, in case you didn’t notice, the above clip is not taken from a sports media outlet. It’s from the Early Show, on CBS. That’s not a sports show at all. So know this, above all else: Peyton Manning’s neck is now newsworthy in the same space as you’d see a fabric-by-fabric breakdown of the royal wedding wardrobes.

Here’s what you need to know about the NCAA’s ongoing probe into Miami football:

• Charles Robinson’s investigative expose from Yahoo! Sports…this is the piece that blew the doors off the story
• Who is Nevin Shapiro, the man at the center of the scandal?
• This is not the first time the U has been in hot water with the NCAA
• Miami has not always had the classiest reputation, especially after this spectacularly ghetto-fabulous brawl with Florida International in 2006

This man is the #1 tennis pro in the world. And he’s doing crotch-shot jokes. Hell yes! You think those men of wood, Sampras and Federer, would be pulling this stuff?

Read all about it.

The headline above is an actual quote from an actual Tim Tebow fan, describing Tebow’s performance last night in Denver’s 24-23 loss in Dallas last night.

Remember, people, this is the NFL preseason.

With that in mind, here is Tebow’s line:

6 completions, 7 attempts. 91 yards. No TD passes. No interceptions. A QB rating of 118. No palm fronds, no healing of lepers. For now.

Denver’s head coach John Fox thinks Tebow is improving: