Theory: Tom’s Uggs were riding a little tight.

Two of my favorite institutions, Bill Cosby and Tim Tebow. Now, one backs the other. Loves it, as Paris Hilton would say.

Here’s a touchdown highlight with the call from ESPN Deportes. For all you gringos, ‘deportes’ is the Spanish word for ‘sports’.

Even though the Giants looked exceedingly JV last night, I still think they can beat the 49ers in the playoffs. And certainly New Orleans will boat race San Francisco in a playoff matchup. Alex Smith cannot and will not put 40 or more points up in a playoff game, which is what it will take to beat New Orleans.

Just so we’re clear.

Hour 1 podcast:

- Sara Eckert, Reporter for WTAJ TV in State College

- Chris Myers from the NFL on Fox

Click through for a commercial-free podcast of Hour 1. 

If Tim Tebow is smart, he’ll do his best to become a lefthanded, junior varsity Ben Roethlisberger.

- SUGGESTION: Those of you who watched St. Louis vs Arizona…try the MLS playoffs. It’s a better use of your time.

- I was raised a San Francisco 49er fan, concurrent with their Bill Walsh/Joe Montana/Jerry Rice/Ronnie Lott apex. As such, I am a skeptic. 7-1 is 7-1, but never forget that Alex Smith is their quarterback. Epic Disaster Fail is just a snap away.

- I still don’t trust Joe Flacco in a big spot in the postseason. Until I do.

- Dallasis an enigmatic as their quarterback. They’re a crappier version of San Francisco. What the hell is a Sea Hawk, anyway?

- Be honest. Did you think Miami would score 31 points over the rest of the season? Kansas City should rehire Dick Vermeil just so he can cry over that effort.

- Someone should tell Carson Palmer that Al Davis died this year. He ain’t gonna die twice, bro. This is a one-time shot of Football Karma for Oakland. They ought not blow it. No matter how mystically motivated the Football Gods may be in helping Los Raiders upon the passing of His Davisness, they are not going to reward 3-interception performances.

- Perhaps Eli Manning wasn’t as full of spit as we thought. Elite quarterbacks beat elite opponents. ALSO: New England’s defense isn’t suspect because it allowed a reasonable 24 points. It’s suspect because they allowed their team to fall behind 10-0, which messes with The Game Plan.

- The Jets manhandled the Bills. The Jets hit the Bills harder, more often. The Bills Failed the Ear Drum Test. Sound upon Physical Impact for the majority of the game’s collisions favoredNew York. Never forget that Football – above all else – is a Linear Exhibition of Violence by Manic Beast Men upon other Beast Men. The Most Violent have The Advantage.

Sometimes, the news requires bullet points and brief (cheap?) commentary. Sometimes. Like today.

• It’s a great day to be an Angeleno: Frank McCourt cries “uncle!” and will sell the Dodgers. LA-haters, you can move along. Nothing to see here that you would understand. Also, 3 Dodgers win Gold Gloves.
• Still No NBA. Here’s something to sober you up. I know none of you care until after the Super Bowl, but at this rate of progress, we may lose the entire season.
• They’re getting the band back together. In Oakland. TJ and Carson, like it’s 2005 up in here.
• Mr. Suh and Mr. Goodell have a meeting. Mr. Suh says he’ll continue to play football. Well, then. Terribly good we cleared that one up!
  
  

What is it about the fumbled snap from center? It has its own brand of whimsy and fail. Like a cat who unexpectedly falls into a body of water, or a small child who just dropped his ice cream cone in the dirt.

—

Oh, Phillip Rivers.

How you Masterfully and Heroically zing that Elliptical Meat Bag with razor Precision throughout the Great Stadia of our Land and Time.

Oh, how, with heart-rending Bravery, you Rally the Chargers from Certain Defeat.

How you stand afield in a Blizzard of Fan Hatred and 11 Physically Perfect Blood Thirsty Savage Beast Men clamoring for the chance to Destroy you with their bare hands.

How you drop the ball like an infant, and crush the hearts of America’s Finest City.

Oh, Phillip Rivers.

Throughout his star-crossed career, Tim Tebow’s Christianity has been part of the legend. The man with the mouth and mind of an altar boy has the heroic skill to lead Violent Men-Beasts to Victory on the Football Field. It’s compelling, no matter what your relationship with God may or may not be.

Now that Tebow matriculated to the NFL, his exploits are oh-so-perfectly exhibited on Sundays, which is when our nation collectively worships at the national secular church, the NFL.

Tim Tebow is loved. This much we know. Now, that love has reached its ultimate form of human expression: the youtube video. Courtesy of LarryBrownSports: